Desiree and Megan currently live in Clarksville, TN, where Desiree is assigned to Fort Campbell as a CW2, Electronics Missile Systems Maintenance Technician. While they are both currently serving on active duty, Megan, a Chaplain, has decided after 11 years of active service to transition into the Reserves so that they can focus on family and reduce the long separations of deployments and assignments at different duty locations. The longest they were located in one place together during their 4 years of dating was six months. Since their marriage on December 27, 2013, they are now finally enjoying being back together under one roof and are looking forward to starting a family in the near future.
The repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) was a major game changer in their lives. As a Chaplain in particular, Megan was very closeted, especially seeing as very few endorsers allow for gay Chaplains. When the change in DADT occurred, Megan knew it was time to switch endorsements to a welcoming and affirming body so that she and Desiree could finally live open and authentic lives. While many Chaplains are still struggling with their faith and how to best deal with the repeal of DADT, Megan wants Soldiers to know that there are supportive Chaplains and faith groups available to LGBT service members and their families.
AMPA has been a wonderful resource to connect them with other families. It has served as a reminder that they are not alone and there are countless others striving for change and bettering the quality of life for other LGBT service members and families on a daily basis.
Megan feels beyond blessed that God saw fit to bring Desiree into her life.
“Desiree is hands down the most humble, hardworking, and self disciplined person I know. Desiree accomplishes whatever she puts her mind to and seeks no accolades or personal gain, ever. She genuinely loves to help others succeed and will give every last ounce to help someone in need without hesitation. Desiree’s love for others is the most beautiful thing about her.”
Desiree said the quality she loves the most about Megan is how she makes every person, in any situation, feel like the most important person in the room.
“Megan loves to listen and has a way of getting people to share their stories by instantly making them feel safe. Her focus is always on the other person and she often leaves conversations never having spoken a word about herself. She genuinely cares about other people and puts them first.”
Without sounding too cliché, they say the foundation to their relationship is truly their faith. The two things they try to incorporate into their relationship daily are praying with one another and lots of laughter. They try to keep the main things…well, the main things, and for them, that is to love God and love the people around them.
Having experience with separation through both deployments and being assigned to different duty stations throughout their relationship, they believe the key to managing those long distance relationships is having honest communication and clear expectations. For them, it was also important to continue to have shared interests while separated, such as doing the same workout as each other, going to church, or finding a movie or TV series to watch. By doing these small things “together” while separated, it not only gave them some things to talk about, but it also enabled them to still feel connected to each other.