Adaire and Kim have been through several deployments together as a military family with their two children, one son and one daughter. Adaire and the kids live in California, while Kim is a navy chief stationed in Korea.
Although the repeal of DADT was a great victory, it was only the first step in ending the major discrimination their family faces. As DOMA bears some responsibility in preventing certain statutory benefits from being given to Adaire, the Department of Defense (DoD) could adapt its regulations on other benefits that it gives its heterosexual families. Adaire and Kim’s family would be much better equipped to deal with the sacrifices and struggles that all military families face. For example, if the DoD were to change its regulations to allow Adaire to be “command sponsored” for Kim’s duty station in Korea, their family would not be separated. Right now, they can only afford family visits to see each other 3 times a year, which Kim pays out of her own pocket.
Kim is honored and proud to be able to serve her country openly and looks forward to the day when the military will provide for her family as it does for her counterparts. Kim mentioned that their family’s love “is as strong and committed as that of any comparable heterosexual one and in some cases more.” Adaire pointed out that, “Like other military spouses who run a household while their partner is away, we face our stresses. There are, however, a couple of important differences: we are asked to make all the same sacrifices, but are afforded none of the same benefits and support systems that are in place to make life bearable.”